a is for advluterous: (ad-VUL-chur-us) a condition
one suffers from while trying to express to another their deepest most abstract
thoughts but instead stutters around and forgets what one was talking about in
the first place.
1.
His
ramblings were advluterous and caused his few listeners to feel uncomfortable.
2.
Generally
he was an advluterer, but occasionally he touched people's hearts.
b is for boker: (BOW-ker) A Boker is a woman or occasionally a man who has an
extremely large mouth. Although some people find bokers attractive, they
actually suffer from an intestinal disorder which only in recent discoveries
has been proven congenital. Studies show bokers first became prevalent after
the industrial revolution when the use of preservatives became commonplace.
1.
"Have
you seen our new secretary?"
"Yes, she's a
boker."
"I know, but I find her
sexy as the devil."
2.
"Never
tell a joke to a boker unless there's no one on either side of them."
c is for cawst: (cow-st) A cawst is a person who is obsessed with putting all
their little things in little tiny storage compartments and gets so obsessed by
doing this that they often find themselves late for work, negligent towards
their children, or causing fatalities unimaginable.
1.
There
was a five car pile up on interstate 8 this afternoon. Investigators believe it
may be the result of one cawst. What they were putting away is unknown as of
yet, but police speculate it may have been thread.
2.
(a
mother to her child who has been on the floor at a department store collecting
the little plastic hooks used to hold the hems of some clothing and putting
them neatly into thimbles.) "Sabrina!!! You're being a cawst!!!"
d is for druuukei: (DROOK-eyeeee) (said in a downward spiral) Druuukei is
uttered after one has started something yet has lost enthusiasm for the whole
ordeal and would much prefer eating BBQ spareribs than moving forward a second
more, even though they know they must finish what they started regardless of
how futile it may be. The noise is
gutted out quite unselfconsciously and is often accompanied by one's hands
covering one's head as to almost erase them from their immediate reality.
1.
"Druuukei!!!!!!"
e is for equapligh: (EEE-quap-LEEG) Equapligh connotes a very negative feeling
about someone who has just entered your space and whose energy is the opposite
as yours was before they came into the room. But because theirs is so concentrated and obtuse, it
obliterates yours completely, leaving you with a head full of equapligh.
1.
"What's
your problem???"
"(teeth clenched) Equapligh."
"Ohhh, OKayee & WhatEVER..."
f is for fazney: (FAZZ-knee) A fazney is a secret makeover performed when one
desires a change of identities, but in a subtle enough way that no one will
notice until years afterwards. If for instance, one is known for wearing their
pajamas all day long and decides that they would instead like to wear neckties
and Enzo Angiolini classic pumps but would rather not be scrutinized or deal
with causing others not to know how to behave in their presence- well, then,
such a person would be a fine candidate for a fazney. This person would then introduce the new wardrobe and
personality very slowly over a long period of time. It's quite a skill. Many
people don't even know the word.
1.
"You know what Jill?" "What." "Have you noticed Jessica looking or talking any differently than she used to?" "No.. why?" "You don't? I mean & don t you
remember a couple years ago she used to be such a slob and always said 'mother
cock' all the time." "Oh, yeah! I forgot about that slogan
of hers..!" " &And now she says 'quite' and 'very well' and her hair
is always brushed!" "Sounds like a fazney!!!" "Oh my God!!! Right in front of our
eyes!" "Well I'll be damned!!"
g is for guhi: (GOO-high) Do not say this word liberally as it is highly
offensive. It usually is followed by words such as slut or bitch. A guhi is a
person who sees themselves through the eyes of others and invents their persona
based entirely on who they imagine other people want them to be. What differs a guhi from other similar
breeds with little to no sense of self-worth is that a guhi has fashioned her
personality precisely on the movie or book she has viewed last week, or on the
woman at the grocery store she stood behind who seemed so self-contained. But because of her lack of persepctive,
a guhi never stops to think that the rest of her peers may be familiar with the
role and may even be playing the same part. When a girl is called a guhi, it's as if her whole world has
crumbled and she must furiously search the video store of her mind to find the
most stoic character with which to defend herself or else she and her whole
world could crumble. In fact, a psychotic break at this point is not
uncommon. This word can also be
used to describe men, but there are more pointed words to describe a similar
male condition. (See oowt
(OOOO-wt ) which can be found in The Jack Brown Elitist Dictionary For Soft
Spoken Men.)
1.
(a conversation by a girl who spent the night with a guy she just met) Listen, I know this is crazy... But I've got
to get going. I m going through
something I m not at liberty tell you about, but suffice it to say, I can t get
tied down to being who you think I should be right now.. I wish I could explain & What I can tell
you though, is that it s for your safety more than mine.. (At this point she hopes for the guy to beg for her to stay or at least gaze longingly at such a mystery.) "Get a move on guhi, I already read that script." (This is met with tears and violence.)
h is for huddying: (HUD-dee-ing) Huddying, like hurrying, is a rapid succession
of activity, but hurrying implies that one has somewhere to be in the immediate
future or that the thing being done needs to be completed in the immediate
future. With huddying, there is a very different kind of urgency. One huddies
when one hates or is so discouraged by what they are doing because it causes them
such inner sickness, that they do it rapidly just to get it out if the way.
They could have the entire next week completely blank in their datebook- the
whole month or year even- it doesn't matter. If the inner sickness is there,
one has the potential to huddy.
1.
"This
looks like you huddied through the whole fucking thing, what's the matter with
you? Why did you even
bother?"
2.
"He
could have been someone, instead he's a wild-eyed huddy."
I is for Ibbalu: (eh-BAAH-lue) In contemporary psychology Ibbalu is the land
where some renowned psychologists say most people spend 99 percent of their
lives. It is the place inside one's head where one's ideals are born. However, if a person fails to
materialize this ideal state throughout their day to day life, Ibbalu can
become an inner sanctum of hell. No one can visit one another 's Ibbalu. Rarely
can one even describe one's own Ibbalu. Ibbalu can only be partly defined as
the area of the mind where one's inner monologue is said to take place. Often
artwork is said to have originated from Ibbalu.
1.
"But
if we're both in Ibbalu, can't we at least share a vanilla shake??"
2.
"Dear, I want to go with you to Ibbalu..." "But darling, you cannot, it would eat you alive!"
J is for Jessica Laurel
Kane: (JESS-ick-ahh-LAW-roll-CANE) This term is used to describe
someone who is not only beautiful and well-mannered but is also a genius and
mind bogglingly witty and charming, but unpredictable as hell and cannot be
pinpointed or judged without the person trying to do so looking like a piglet
lost in a jug of ladies underwear.
1.
"What do I think of her??? Why... she's a regular Jessica Laurel Kane!!!!"
2.
"Gary!!!
Will you just accept me for who I am, can't you get it through your thick skull
that I am not and will never be a Jessica Laurel Kane!!!!!"
K is for kobine: (KOE-bine) A kobine is a person who has allowed their energy
to be voluntarily drained by popular culture and mass media. When this happens
to a person, what is left is a syrupy glazed-over individual who tends to have
a very enunciated way of speaking, often using a modern day vernacular. A
kobine has a hearty laugh and is often, beyond his own will, a spokesperson for
ideas that are 3rd generation kobine. Like people in incestuous
communities who begin to generate jellybone disease, the kobine has inherited a
societal jellyboneing of the mind and soul. To hear examples of these
'individuals', just go to any place where people are and listen for the
conversations that make your skin crawl the most and if you don't hear any,
it's quite possible that you yourself are a kobine.
l is for lopey: (LOW-pee) Lopey is often confused with the word lazy. But
this is a VERY BIG MISTAKE!!! When one is lazy, one often cannot even begin
something and if they do, they often have too many tracks going in their mind
that they cannot control so instead they go and eat a salami sandwich with
chocolate sauce and two cups of heavily creamed and sugared coffee. But, being
lopey is a totally different phenomenon. A person who is lopey has been working
on something for awhile and is so excited with the way it is coming along that
they are almost too excited to continue. They feel they must put the project on
hold just momentarily, just in order to talk about it with someone, to share
the excitement. They try so
desperately to repress this urge, but the excitement becomes too much for them
to handle and they must stop and run breathlessly to the nearest friend. Of
course lopey people are always frazzled because they are often startled when
they return back to the drawing board to realize they have already become
someone new and cannot even be excited about what stopped them from working in
the first place. These people rarely finish anything and what they do
accomplish is usually in the short format. These people are often products of
childhood neglect.
1.
"Hey
did you finish that novel you were working on?" "Nahh.. I was way too
lopey.. but I've got some quotes that I wrote... wanna read em??!!!"
2.
(ring
ring of the telephone) "Hello? &Woe, cowboy! Take it down a notch! You
sound really loped out. Yeah, sure, come right on over..."
m is for mip: Mip or feeling mippy is the state of sulking in a
manipulative fashion to get the reassurance that some people are addicted to in
order to move forward. Getting others to say what you want them to say by using
'weaving tactics' is considered to be quite mippy.
1.
"So
what'd you think." "I think its good." "But do you think
it's good or do you think it's great." "It's great." "But
you said before that it was just good." "I said it was good, but I
think it's great.." " &Listen, you don t have to say it's great if you
only think it's good, OK? Just be honest.." "Listen, I think it's
incredible, alright?" "You do??" "Yeah." "Wow..
Thanks."
n is for nubuly: (NOOB-you-lee) When one is feeling nubuly, one is feeling
afraid of the mysteries of life to such a degree that they can only force
themselves to be fascinated with its vast greatness and unpredictability to
keep from going mad and possibly even imploding. Most people feel nubuly in the
night right before bed when the mind is open and the inorganic beings and
memories are free to roam the way water roams the oceans. When one feels
nubuly, one may have a natural urge to pick up the phone and call one's mother
or best friend or wake up ones husband or turn on the tv to a comedy based
programme. At this time, one would probably not bode well from reading a 17th
century book on crop circle prophecy.
1.
"Hi &
sorry to call so late.. are you sleeping??" "Yeah.. is everything
alright?" "Yeah.. Uh.. I don't know, I cant sleep. Do you ever feel just, I don't know & overwhelmed with life??" "Listen.. uh, I have to get up really early for work, would you be mad if we talked tomorrow?" "No.. Not at all.. I'm so sorry that I woke you.." "Oh it's no big deal..." "I'm just all nubuly." "Oh & well, why didn t you say so?? Listen, don't worry & Go make yourself
some hot tea and write about it in your journal, you'll feel better in a half
an hour.." "Wow, thanks.. I feel better already."
o is for oblot: (AHHB-lot) Oblot
describes the world when you cannot believe that it can carry on the way it
does without laughing at itself. This is a word that was only coined about a
minute ago and refers to the immediate state of affairs in the world right here
and now. I think this word is often inspired by the celebrity-based
consumer-oriented world that we live in today, and how people have forgotten
that life could possibly have to do with something else more & plonged. (see plonged )
1.
"Is
this really happening right now??? What I see around me is an oblot and I feel
as if I'm the only one who s noticing!"
p is for plonged: (plonjd) Plonged describes a state of mind that one develops
through actively experiencing one s own life. A person who exists in the USA, for instance, rarely
inhabits a mind that is plonged. Instead theirs is a mind that has developed
out of passively watching, on two-dimensional apparatuses, a watered down
version of active life- and since they cannot identify with this such action,
they instead identify with the 'actor' and live vicariously through their
watered down quasi life experiences, while converting their own lives into
trash receptacles. This word is never used, because if one's world is plonged,
one is too involved in the experience of being alive to recognize that it is
doing so and the ones whose lives have become trash receptacles would never
hear about this word in the mass media so would not ever learn of its
existence. The word is only used in elitist dictionaries like this one and by
elitist people who probably can only have a conversation with one s self due to
the obscurity of their language.
q is for Quebuquilinerary
Day: (QUEEB-u-quill-INNER-ary) Quebuquilinerary day is a sexual
act which originated in the lesser populated Midwestern regions of Amerika.
It's often referred to as the 'Quebu'. Quebuquilinerary Day is quite illegal
and is rarely practiced anymore except in the most remote midwestern towns. On
this day, (sometimes celebrated once a month) the impulsive mind is allowed to
rule the person's actions and whatever they feel compelled to do, they may do.
It originally wasn't intended to be a sexual act, but for whatever reason, it
became such. Scientists have even discovered that the genetic make up of entire
villages that celebrate this holiday have been altered because of what happens.
1.
When
a man from a town two towns over from Chillicothe, Ohio was asked about
Quebuquilinerary Day he was quoted as saying, "Well, if the preacher s wife never knew her belly button was there before Q-day, she does now!! Cuz it's superglued to the stairs of the town hall! And it still has the semen in it from Jimmy Bob's nephew and his little sister says she can still see it moving!" Another added, "The Quebu... It's like waltzing with the whole town at once, except the dance floor's real slippery."
2.
(a
mother who does not want her children to have a party at her house without
adult supervision) "Absolutely not!!! I will not condone a veritable
Quebuquilinery Day in my very own house! The end!!"
r is for rilk: Rilk can be compared to the inner dialogue one often has with
oneself in one's own private brain, however rilk is much more complex. Rilk
refers to the chaotic chain of subtle thoughts that seem to just occur in one's
head without even one's own consent. They could have to do with the memories of
one's youth or the collective memories of life on earth or some speculate this
could even be the brain picking up the waves of tv and radio or even telephone
conversations. In other words, rilk is all the mess that streams inside one's
mind that one often has to be silent and unoccupied, or on psychotropic drugs
to hear. And for the very aware and/or unemployed human being, rilk is a
phenomenon that could drive them stark raving pie-eyed mad.
1.
"Hey, what're you thinking about?" "Oh, I don't know... It's all rilk today." "Wow. You know, don't you think it's amazing what goes on in there sometimes?" "Yeah.. I guess.. I wish it had an on/off button though."
s is for slint: A slint is a person who is very unsettled deep deep inside
but will not allow himself to recognize this for fear he will have to begin
crying, so instead he develops an aggression which is loud enough to shield his
self-hate. This in turn makes the people towards whom his aggression is aimed
at to feel very unsettled with their own selves, and for him to see the other
person exhibit what he alone feels deep deep inside gives him a twisted
satisfaction. Especially if he is able to make the other person cry, or better
still if he is able to permanently alter the other person's own feelings of
stability. Slint's are assimilated into everyday society and are often seen as
normal but they are NOT!! On the ladder of mental illness, they are a mere one
rung below schizophrenia!!
1.
(crying
lady) &And everytime I want to write, he yells at me for not taking out the
dog, and he's the one who sleeps till 11:30 everyday!!!" "Jessica,
why are you trying to make sense out of sickness!! You married a slint!!!"
"I know, but I thought I could fix him." "Honey, give up while
you're ahead! Fix him by putting rat poison in his coffee." (more crying)
t is for tordu: (TOR-due) Tordu describes the time period that one remains in
the powerless position of an intimate relationship that is stuck in the back
and forth perpetual cycle called role-shifting. An example of role-shifting is when one person is full of
self-worth and almost does not even need the other person, but the other
person, who probably, almost due to the first's sudden boost of confidence,
suddenly turns inward and becomes ladened with self-doubt and insecurity, which
causes them to experience a pathetic desperation. Psychologists have labeled
the amount of time a person experiences this powerless and demeaning role in
such a relationship as tordu. When one is in tordu, one will feel paranoia,
jealousy, restlessness, as well as irrational insecurities and self-doubt, and
will constantly beg for the other person's attention and love. This can last up to two weeks, or
until they think, "Wow, I've been in tordu for awhile!" at which
point, before they know it, they will miraculously switch roles and suddenly,
this pathetic worm winds up in bodsville (see bodsville ), while their partner
wakes up in the misery of tordu.
I've heard it said that the tordu/bodsville cycle tends to last in most
relationships until the pigment leaves the hair of at least one of the
partners. Some researchers speculate that a chemical in what pigments the hair
can sometimes seep into the brain causing tordu and bodsville to manifest. They
are presently doing research on albinoes and people with alopecia.
1.
"Won't
you hold my hand??? ...WHAT, you son of a bitch!!! You're Busy???? Yeah, well you better
enjoy yourself now, you pretentious little twit, cuz mama's tordu is just
about up and then we'll see how happy go lucky you are, you piece of shit!!!!!"
2.
"Stop crying... Jesus christ, you're hysterical. I work with this person!!! No... I do not think she's prettier than you!! We were in overtime! What, you don t trust me?? Would you
get a hold of yourself? You're
just in tordu, alright? In
two weeks, you won't even remember this!!!"
u is for uktuct or uktuctic: (uk-TUCT-ick) An Uktuct is a person obsessed with what will happen next in his or her minute/day/year. They are constantly trying to plan these minutes/days/years to the point where they often fall into a state of inward planning and wind up living through these plans and dropping out of the real world altogether. Psychologists say this is because they are so overwhelmed and preoccupied about whether or not their actions dictate the future or if their destiny is already mapped out.. or if it's all based on the random chance happenings of everybody acting together... An uktuct sometimes cannot even brush their teeth, because in their mind they have already done so. In their mind, they might
already be 15 years ahead of now.
1.
A
uktuctic statement:
"I've already died and gone to heaven so I needn't look for a job
no more."
v is for vaclet: (VACK-let) A vaclet is sort of a list of things that one has
to do but it goes beyond washing the dog and buying milk. A vaclet is usually
very long and exists in many places as one usually rewrites and misplaces one s
vaclet often. It is comprised of the things one wants to have, accomplish, and
be before one dies. A vaclet can also exist in one's mind instead of on paper.
Most people's vaclets have no checkmarks and this is why a vaclet is kept most
secret. Because nobody wants others to know where they have failed.
1.
"What
the hell is this? Get my own tv show, grow two inches taller, deny my homosexuality..." "GIVE THAT TO ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!" "Ho ho ho, looks like a vaclet if I've ever seen one..."
w is for waahaa: (waa-HAAA) Waahaa is derived
from the sound of crying. However one does not hear another person's waahaa. A
waahaa is an inner cry that begins to occur when one feels that the world is
not at all what one thought it was. This could happen to anyone at any time.
This feeling then escalates into a very heavy abstract thought where one is
left with the statement, "What is this?" Meaning why are
we humans around and when will all of this end- for me- for us all! But as fast as this sensation comes, it
goes, and you would think the person would be relived, but no, they instead try
desperately to get it back- this feeling that was so large and wordless and
mysterious and almost horrible but for some odd reason they must have it back,
even if it's a pin in a pile of brain tissue- and everytime it's found again
for that split second before it passes away faster than the speed of light,
they say, excitedly, "There it is!!!! That was it!!!" And the feeling that
accompanies this subtle yet overwhelming sensation is a waahaa.
x is for xellod: (ZELL-odd) A xellod is a person who has been granted special
powers by supernatural beings but has been sworn to secrecy and if they even so
much as hint to another that they possess these powers they will instantly be
'taken off' the planet. Often times when you hear of freak accidental deaths
these days, it is the result of a squealing xellod.
1.
"Mother,
I don t understand why Billy had to die.
He was the nicest person I knew.
I mean just last week he was so excited cause he made the kite fly in
the basement, and now he's gone!" "Honey, Billy was a xellod & He
shouldn't have showed you his trick."
y is for yulatraf: (YUL-uh-traf) A yulatraf is the successful
materialization of the inner mind to an outside medium. This could be a
painting, a letter, an invention, a book, a film, a conversation,
anything. Anything which
translates the inner experience verbatim onto the outside world.
1.
"A
yulatraf speaks to the people like nothing else because it tells them that they
are not really alone in the universe."
2.
"Hey,
I read your poetry man, a fuckin yulatraf- like you got it from mine,
man!!"
z is for zespet: (ZESS-pet) A zespet is an animal- usually a dog- that has
accidentally wound up with a human soul. Researchers believe that sometimes
when a loved one dies in an accident, their soul wants so desperately to stay
on earth that they will try to sneak into anyone's body, and since most humans
are fairly well-protected by their busy schedules, dogs become a target. Dogs
have very open minds- mostly the ones who do nothing all day- and a lost soul
might run into one of these dogs and just slip in. And often times these dogs,
now inhabited by these lost souls, will run away from their previous masters
and find a way back to their loved ones home who then take them in as a found pet
that was just too cute and lovable they could not resist and the family is in a
sense reunited. Zespets are very human seeming and usually appear back into
one's life in an unusual and unforeseen manner within five years of the death
of a loved one.
1.
"I am convinced that puppy is a zespet... When I look in his eyes, I see mother." "No you don't silly, because mother hasn't died yet."
